My most nerdy grammar friends argue about whether it’s spelled Judgment or JudgEment. Actually, they’re both true. Spell-check prefers Judgment, but the Tarot artists of the early 20th century seemed to prefer Judgement (with an “e”). Just like deciphering a Tarot card, two different interpretations can be exactly correct and also quite different.
Many of my clients come to me when they are at a career crossroads. Something doesn’t seem right. They could be something else. They should be doing something else. What it is? Can the Tarot tell?
In the United States, we’re brought up to believe that our careers must not only be lucrative, but meaningful. We must follow our dreams. And pay off all of the student loans that trained us in how to do those dreams. I read this painfully poignant blog by a friend which talks about the moment when we stop chasing specific dreams. For some of us, we get tired of a meager living. Sometimes, we just get tired of the work, itself. Our interests may change. We start to seek a new “calling.”
The Judgement Card can represent this moment of “new calling.”
The Judgement Card reminds me of the final scene in the original Pete’s Dragon. (((((SPOILER ALERT, KITTENZ! )))))
After Elliot has saved Pete from the nasty child abusers, he flies off into the sky because, as Pete says, “There’s another kid in trouble.” Elliot got a call from whatever force notifies dragons that other kids need saving. It was his Judgement Card moment, and he flew off into the sky to fulfill it.
Sometimes the Judgement card arrives at the end of one chapter, to signify the start of a new chapter.
One of my Judgement card moments appeared in my final semester in college. I took a fiction writing course to fulfill some electives and discovered, within a week, that my true love was writing, not theatre–the “calling” I had dutifully trained to do. I don’t specifically remember what happened, but I remember how it felt. I’d written a lot as a little girl. But I put it all aside for the attention and camaraderie of theatre departments. I felt like I was days away from getting married, my fiance being my theatre degree, but had unexpectedly run into my TRUE true love–writing. There it was–a Judgement card moment. But Judgement wasn’t done with me, yet.
I pursued theater all the way to New York, and I gave it up within two years. Not because it was hard, but because New York is fucking cold in the winter. My first two winters in the Northeast (2003-2004) were both record-breakingly cold. My gentle little Oregon-winter jacket was no match for the brutal weeks of single digit temperatures and my theater admin jobs didn’t pay enough to buy appropriate boots and an appropriate coat. Boots will always win over coats, but that still left me very, very cold. Writing quickly overtook theatre because I didn’t have to leave the house to audition for writing jobs. My first two winters in the Northeast were a slowly unfolding Judgement card moment. Theatre was not my calling.
But if theatre was not my calling…what was?
I still ask myself this question. Some days, it feels like my calling is writing. Some days, it feels like Priestessing. Naturally, Tarot often plays a role in my calling, but honestly? I truly don’t know. But I also know I’m not alone. Many of my clients come to me wondering what their calling is and if they are missing it.
How blessed is it, though, to be able to afford to ponder whether our choices are the best ones for these nebulous callings? There was a time in my life, several times in fact, when callings could go straight to hell. All I cared about was finding sufficient work to pay bills, buy food, and keep the lights on most of the time. I’m happy to be at a point where I can tilt my head up in wonderment and think, “Is this what I’m meant to do?” because I now have the luxury of wondering.
Here’s one thing the Judgement card has to offer: If we find ourselves wondering if we’re in the right place, Judgement says we are blessed. The ability to wonder is in itself a true gift. Judgement reminds us to be thankful for that moment and wait for the clues for the next chapter.
And if you’re stumbling across my rants for the first time, my new book Tarot for One: The Art of Reading for Yourself is still available for pre-order…and will be available November!
Last week, the New York Magickal community lost another star. Chris Ochun, you will be terribly missed. Thank you for the readings, the insight, and giving me the opportunity to lead Misa with you. For those of you who are able, Chris’s family is taking up a collection for his funeral expenses.