Just like the Tower, sometimes we just have to let the thoughts crumble. Some mornings, I get up to write and I can’t think of a damn thing to say. This is highly inconvenient considering I don’t have all day to write and there’s a looming deadline for a book in my not-too-distant future. I know I’m not alone and I can feel my fellow writers nodding, sadly, at their screens.
Yet, at the same time, I’ve privately promised myself to blog here more frequently. The following is a raw, un-edited, un-pasteurized blob of blog from my mind this morning that has a chance of ending up in my book if the cool, calming eyes and highlight/delete don’t talk me out of it. Enjoy!
The Tower
Just before I published my first book, I had a blog post go viral for the first time. The night before that happened, I dreamed I was standing in my place of work at the time (which was in a tall building) and a tornado ripped through New York City, taking most of the taller buildings out with it, including most of the one I was standing in. In the last part of the dream, I stood in a doorway, one of few parts of the building that still stood, and gazed out on the rubble of the fallen towers all around me and wondered what would happen, next. That dream was a subconscious burp that perfectly embodies the Tower card—the great force of nature wiping out man-made structures. For me, the Tower not only represented my place of work (which I ultimately ended up leaving a few months later for something far more in line with my Priestess work), but it also represented my anonymity. Not that I’ve achieved massive amounts of fame, but prior to that dream I enjoyed the freedom of obscurity. No one gives you a hard time when you’re under the radar. Little is expected of you because nothing has been set before you, initially. But suddenly, my name and words were everywhere and the Tower of obscurity that I had both resented (in wanting success) was no longer there and like my dream where I stood in the ruined doorway, exposed to all elements and unsure of what that meant.
The Tower can best be approached with the mentality of “Bring it on.” Whatever it is that’s coming to be unearthed can be scary. It may even hurt. But like the Death card, the possibilities that the Tower presents have the potential to be far more beautiful than if the Tower had not ever come through one’s life. Another friend of mine had a reading a number of years ago. The option was to either embrace a year of the Empress or embrace the year of the Tower. She didn’t like the idea of embracing the Tower, so she chose the comfort of a year of the Empress. Now, nothing in our destinies can be ignored forever, and eventually she found that she needed to face what she called “The year of the Tower.” That year included a major job change and a major move, plus addressing several health concerns and family issues that had been repressed for many years. These were not easy transitions or gentle things to address. But yet they were absolutely necessary and on the other side of them was a healthier, fuller life than one previously clung to.
Sometimes we have to allow the rubble to fall around us. Sometimes we need to face the destruction. But in my dream of tornadoes and faling buildings, there was a bright horizon in the distance. This was both visual and true. I ultimately wanted my words out there, even though I was scared of how they might be received. My friend ultimately wanted the freedom that came in her new job, home, and health practices. But transitions don’t always feel good. In fact, they can often be painful and scary. The bright side of the Tower is the horizon on the other side of it. What is holding us back? Usually it’s something we don’t even realize we are being blocked by. Sometimes we think the collapse is the problem, but the Tower tells us that the Tower itself was the problem in the first place, not the collapse. Maybe we rebuild, or maybe we just walk away. Either way, there’s a bright horizon on the other side of the rubble and when we allow this to be the focus of the Tower rather than the demolition dust, that is when we find release and joy.
And…scene!
And speaking of Towers (or in this case, FLAGS) that just need to fall, already…..
Bree Newsome takes down the flag. Reuters Media Express/Adam Anderson Photos
Bree Newsome is my newest hero. Watch her be an Amazon for justice.
And on this week’s issue of The People Who Come to See Me….this one is entitled “Huh????”
Search engine question (I think) is “Did Nigeria have a search light in the moon?”
Another wonderful interview!
Me reading at Phoenix and Dragon in Atlanta, GA. Photo by H. Greene.
I had the great opportunity to be interviewed by The Wild Hunt! Thank you, Lisa Roling!
