The following is an excerpt from my new book Sacred Tears: A Witch’s Guide To Grief. Pre-order now, and get it a full month before it hits the shelves. <3
In the days immediately following your loss, you may be surprised or even disturbed by how the world looks much as it did before.
Dishes unwashed before your loss remain undone. Yesterday’s pants may still be on the floor. Birds still sing, the neighbor gets the mail, the garbage gets collected. New shows and movies are released, and social media content is shared. People talk about things that have nothing to do with your loss.
Yet, the world has changed. It’s your life. But it’s not.
I’m a writer, but modern English is wont for words that adequately express the different angles of grief. I’ve grappled for a word that explains life feeling like an impeccably detailed movie set, reflecting an exact model of the life you used to live, into which you were unwittingly placed. To the outside eye, everything is the same. But you know it’s not. Perhaps you’re like me and you want to shout at everyone passing by, “Hey, a**holes! Don’t you know the world is completely different? How do you not notice that nothing is the same?”
But the truth is that the world is the same. It’s we, the grieving people, who are changed.
Amid our grieving, we must learn to navigate this identical but foreign world.
One of the first gifts I gave myself after my loss was acknowledging that although the world was the same, I was different. The days were long, individual moments even longer, and nights were eternal. I struggled to respond to emails, forgot appointments, left dishes undone and laundry unfolded.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do these things. I honestly did not have the mental focus to do them. I would sit at my computer, my email account open to reply to a message, and I couldn’t remember who I was writing to and why. I might sit and stare at a pile of laundry, as the thought of rolling socks and folding shirts felt exhausting. And I scolded myself for failing at such simple tasks. It was an unfair scolding.
Your First Spells or Rituals after a Loss
Although many people may find it difficult to connect to their spirituality in the wake of loss, others will immediately turn to their Witchcraft practice to support their grieving process.
If you do feel called to practice your Witchcraft while you grieve, do give yourself permission to keep it as simple as you need it to be.
Maybe you’re someone who thrives on creating complicated rituals, and if that feels affirming or comforting, go for it! Make those rituals big and grand and scripted and everything you need them to be. But know that you do not have to perform complicated rituals.
If you only have energy to sit at your altar and light a candle, do it.
If you don’t even have the energy to light a candle and just want to cry to or rage at your Spirits, your Gods, or whatever you believe in, great.
Don’t try to recreate your standard practice if it isn’t feeling great in the moment. You might come back to it. It may never be the same. That’s okay.
Grief changes the Witch. Therefore, grief will change the Witch’s Magick.
For a complimentary exercise on navigating the first days after a loss, come join The Cauldron Calling at any paid tier! The Cauldron Calling is the place where you can deepen or reconnect with a Magickal practice, sharpen your Tarot skills, receive regular Tarot readings, and meet with Magickally-minded people just like yourself. Come check it out. We’d love to have you!
Other resources for Grieving Witches:
“Let’s Talk About Grief” Tues, March 5, 5pm PST – 6pm MST – 7pm CST- 8pm EST. Join me and Theresa Reed
Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady as we talk about grief on Instagram Live! Follow me at @courtneyaweber or Theresa @thetarotlady to join us!
Pre-Order Sacred Tears: A Witch’s Guide To Grief
When grief leaves you reeling, struggling not only emotionally but also spiritually, this book offers support from a Witch’s perspective. Available for pre-order, now.
“….Sacred Tears stands as a source of solace and kinship for those dealing with grief.”
—Mat Auryn, international bestselling author of Psychic Witch
