Two years ago, I had a devastating loss. The kind of loss that breaks one’s world.
Afterward, I looked at books I’d loved before, but now couldn’t remember what I’d liked about them. I tried wearing my favorite clothes, but didn’t know why I’d ever favored them. Even frying an egg felt hard. Everything looked and felt hollow, a shell of nothing. Nothing felt more like a shell than my altar.
I wanted to be angry at the gods, but it’s difficult to be angry at something you no longer believe in.
Losing my beliefs in Witchcraft took only one terrible night.
In my Catholic middle and high schools, religion teachers spoke about losing faith as though it were a problem to solve: When did we question our faith? How fast could we begin to believe in the Christian God again? Faith was essential and if we lacked faith, we needed to find it immediately. Inability to resurrect faith (pardon the pun) was a failure.
Witches often avoid the word “faith.” Perhaps it resonates too much with the religions many of us left behind. We more often use “trust,” as in “Trusting the Magick,” “Trusting the Gods,” or “Trusting ourselves” or simply “belief.” But no matter which term we use, grief shakes them all.
When we grieve, we may wonder if what we believed in ever existed. We may question our most extraordinary spiritual experiences, wondering if they were imagined or hallucinated.
If you struggle to believe in Magick in the early days of your loss, you are NOT failing as a person, or as a Witch.
You are simply experiencing the very human reality of losing faith amid grieving.
Be patient with yourself. Accept your post-loss beliefs, whatever they may be, for what they are, now.
You are grieving. You do not need more work to do.
Try these things, instead:
Allow yourself to move as slowly as your life allows you.
Allow yourself to stop, when possible.
Allow yourself to cry when you can.
Allow yourself to respond in ways that may seem odd to yourself or others such as laughing more than usual, or sitting quietly in a jovial setting.
Don’t push yourself to reanimate your beliefs in Witchcraft.
Part of your healing journey will likely involve returning to your beliefs once more. You’re likely to find that they’ve taken a new shape.
Whatever you do, be gentle with yourself. You’re a grieving Witch, not a failing Witch.
Other resources for grieving Witches:
Let’s Talk About Grief with Theresa Reed and Courtney Weber
When: Tuesday, March 5th at 5 PM PST/ 6 PM MST/ 7 PM CST/ 8 PM EST
Where: on my IG live @courtneyaweber
At some point, everyone of us will grieve. It doesn’t matter if the loss is a person, beloved pet, or even a job – grief always follows loss. So how do we move on? What happens when we can’t? How do we help loved ones who may be grieving? In this special live stream, I’ll be joining author
Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady for this much-needed discussion about grieving. We’ll share how grief impacted our lives and the tools we used to cope. We’ll also talk about our new books, which are both centered around healing from loss.
Pre-order my new book Sacred Tears: A Witch’s Guide To Grief
“This is the book I wish I had when my father died…” ~Devin Hunter, author of Modern Witch.
When grief leaves you reeling, struggling not only emotionally but also spiritually, this book offers support from a Witch’s perspective. Sacred Tears: A Witch’s Guide To Grief shares rituals, prayers, journal prompts, and other exercises specially designed to help with all kinds of grief, whether it’s from the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a community fracture, or environmental destruction. Includes a foreword by Christopher Penczak.
