Probable Spoilers Ahead, Kittenz. 

I almost got fired from several social media feeds for posting OMG!!!s all over the place last Sunday night. Not everyone was glued to their televisions at the same time as I. Sorry about that, y’all. I just couldn’t help myself. And truly, if you’re into a show and you can’t get to your t.v., stay away from all things Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, whatever related. Just stay away from all of it until you see your show. #personalresponsibility

Last week’s Game of Thrones Tarot was a hit, so I’m doing it again!

The readings below are based on the characters we see in the trailer for Episode 6.

Sam and Gilly


When we last saw Sam and Gilly, they were on an extremely unseaworthy-looking vessel and Sam was puking more than a partier on the A-Train on an early Sunday morning. Gilly, on the other hand, seems to get happier the further south she goes. Apparently, they’re on their way to Sam’s dad’s house who, based on everything Sam has said, is a total anus. (He’s worse in the books, too. He horrified me more than most of the other anus-ey dudes.)

So, what happens?


The Empress and the King of Pentacles indicate parents, but the Page of Cups in Reverse equals deceit or secrecy. We already know Gilly and Sam are on their way to Sam’s parents’ house. Are they going to tell them a big fat lie? I have a suspicion about what that lie might be, but I’ve read the books so I’m keeping my mouth shut (this time). All I can say is that Sam is getting trickier and craftier as this series develops. This week will be a new level of tricksy Sam.



I’ve been on team Margaery since she got rid of that weird football player dress back in Season 2.

It's not nice to judge a person on their clothes. But, really. Honey. Oh...honey...

It’s not nice to judge a person on their clothes. But, really. Honey. Oh…honey…I hated that dress.

She’s smart. She’s funny. She knows what she wants and how to get it. She does fabulous things with that hair. And when she told Cercei to GETOUTYOUHATEFULBITCH, I was in love and still am. Plus, even after being locked in a scary dungeon for weeks or months and getting slapped around by a crazy nun, she still had the ovaries to be all, “Try again, old man,” when the High Sparrow tried to get her to ingest the Westerosi Kool-Aid. Love her. Want to be her. GOMARGAERY.

Margaery’s reading for Episode 6:


Things start out pretty rough for Margaery. Is the SHU finally getting to her? Is she sick of the Game of Thrones and no longer giving any shits about being Queen? 5 of Cups is a pretty desolate card to get. The Chariot Reversed and the 9 of Cups Reversed don’t look too promising, either. Those two together often mean something is stuck, unhappily so. However, we saw Queen M posing at the top of the Septa steps. Maybe the Chariot means “no go,” so she doesn’t have to take Cersei’s walk of shame? Either way, there’s no satisfaction for Margaery at the end of the episode. That sucks. I’d like to see her have a good episode.



I know there are a lot of you out there who are ready to throw your manties and panties at Jamie Lannister’s face, but he’s never done it for me. Maybe it’s the incest thing. More than a bit of a turn-off. Anyway, I’ve warmed to Jamie since he befriended and spilled his soul to Brienne. But he’s been blundering a bit this season. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself. In the preview, he’s riding around on a horse again, so maybe Jamie is getting his Lannister groove back.

Jamie’s reading:


Queen of Cups–this usually indicates a lover, a wife, or mother? For Jamie, that would be his twin sister (ew). Temperance Reversed indicates a complete loss of patience. The High Priestess in Reverse indicates a lack of interest in honoring a house of faith. It can also mean going against advice or intuition. With Jamie, it’s probably a combination of all of the above. But there’s a very good chance he’s going to throw a fit against the High Sparrow on his sister’s behalf which is frankly something he should have done three episodes ago.



It’s fun to love to hate Cersei. It was hard not to kinda feel a little sorry for her when she had to walk through the streets naked and covered in poo. Here’s what I want to know: Is she really nicer now that she’s had this experience? Or is she still playing everyone for the massive fools that they probably are? Maybe we’ll find out in this episode?


OH SHIT! SHE’S GOING TO RAISE SOME CERSEI HELL! Knight of Cups Reversed indicates a complete lack of giving any fucks. Justice means Cersei is going to go after someone. The Emperor means it’s going to be a man of power, like the High Sparrow *or* it’s going to be on behalf of her son. Cersei’s going to be causing the main stink on Sunday night. Just you watch.



She annoyed me in the first season, but she’s gotten progressively more and more bad-ass in the last few seasons. Her kill-the-khals-pull-a-phoenix move two episodes ago has forever wielded her in the Feminist Sheroes Hall of YES!!! forever and ever (amen). What kind of fab is she going to get into in this next installment?

What’s Dany gonna do???


3 of Wands: She’ll spend the first part of the episode traveling, or else looking out at a landscape. We may already know that because of the preview but whatever. The cards confirm it. The Hermit means she’s going to need some me-time. Maybe her snarky boyfriend is going to get on her nerves and she asks for some space for a time. The 5 of Wands says she’s going to run into another conflict. Remember how Yara got the 5 of Wands at the end of the last reading? Dany may not be running off with ships, but she’s going to get involved in something crazy-like. We probably won’t know the outcome by the end of the episode.



Yeah. Bran had a hell of an episode last time. I won’t bring it up as it’s still too raw for most.

So, what’s next for Bran?


The 7 of Wands says Bran’s going to start out the episode “working against something.” It could be more zombies. It could just be the weather. 8 of Pentacles he’s going to be working on something he’s already started. When we last left him, he was warging all over time and space. The cards indicate that’s going to continue. Lastly, the 6 of Pentacles is “giving something.” Maybe he’s going to be giving we viewers and fans another juicy tidbit of info? PLEASE GODZ, LET IT BE THE TRUTH ABOUT JON’S MOM.

And of course, the REAL question we have (other than who is Jon’s mom?) is…


Will it happen on Sunday night? Will Brienne return the puppy eyes to Mr. Giantsbane?


This is NOT what I wanted to see, Tarot.

The Tower indicates some sort of massive upheaval or catastrophe. Neither 10 of Cups Reversed or Strength Reversed bode well for a relationship. When they’re right-side up, things are in the open and going well. In reverse, they’re either smoldering or being kept secret. Maybe they get too caught up in crazy-town Game of Thrones stuff to be open about their adorable feelings? Or maybe the Tower marks a catastrophe of them not being in the episode this time around and therefore, we have to wait another whole week to even see if they’ll get to do it? No matter how it plays out, it doesn’t look like we’ll get to see our favorite love story come together next Sunday.