Another sad post.
So much loss, so many brilliant minds leaving this place. It’s like that horrible HBO show where people just disappear randomly but the catch is that it happened all at once and it was completely random–the Pope and JLo disappeared at the same moment. Except replace “disappear” with “passed away” and random with “brilliant.”
When I was a kid, I told my Dad I wanted to be friends with Robin Williams. Dad said Robin was probably very different, off screen. “Sometimes people who are that funny are really very sad,” he said. I knew then that Robin and I had a lot in common. I’ve never been suicidal, but I have spent most of my life hiding behind jokes. I was a very shy, sensitive girl and a target for teasing. I figured out early that if I made fun of myself first, other kids had a harder time doing it. Basically, they couldn’t hurt me if I got to the joke, first. My jokes weren’t as mean, either and my material was better. I am still shy(ish) and when teaching or speaking publicly, usually say something desperately self-effacing because it’s much easier to speak behind the mask of the clown. One of my teachers likes to point this out about me in public and I usually respond: “I know,” I said. “It’s a shame I’m not funny.”
SEE??? IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE!!!! I’m sad about Robin Williams AND I CAN’T STOP JOKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS!!!!
*sigh*
The Muse that feeds the clown is a tricky one, indeed. Robin’s immense sadness gave us the gift of laughter, as that sad, sad Muse does for so many.
Thank you Robin, for the laughs. Rest well and be at peace.
Okay. Enough Sad.
Matthew Silver is the embodiment of Pan. Watch and be in Joy.
