This post may contain spoilers about Game of Thrones. We’ll find out how spoiler-y the Tarot is after Sunday. But just warning you. 

I’m a little Game of Thrones obsessed. Yes, it’s violent as hell. Yes, it’s sopping mess of misogyny most of the time (although this season, the women are striking back like fed-up cobras). But I love the characters, the costumes, and most of all, the story twists. I read all five of the books last year and am gently urging Mr. RR Martin to get the next one wrapped up (although I’m sympathetic to his plight. There are probably fifty unfinished novels littering old hard drives around our place and none of them belong to my husband).

Waiting is tough.  There are a shit-ton of plot-lines we’d like to continue and dozens of characters we’re curious about…yet fans like me have to wait until Sunday night. Now that the series has passed the books, none of us can sneak a peek into the Ice and Fire Wiki to satiate curiosity. However, we do have the Tarot and curious folks like you are lucky enough to have ME as a co-impatient fan. YOU’RE WELCOME, KITTENZ!!!!

Let’s ask the Tarot what’s going to happen on GoT this week! 

I’m drawing cards on the characters as shown in the preview:

Littlefinger:

Cue TLC's "Creep."

Cue TLC’s “Creep.”

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Oh, look! More lies and deception. Jesus. Why do I bother pulling cards?

3 of Wands, Reversed: Some plans are going to get cut short. 3 of Wands upright means looking into the long term and possibly some travel. In reverse? One of those mustache-twirling schemes Littlefinger is so svelte at will need to be set aside as some extra scheming will be involved. Knight of Cups, Reversed: The Knight of Cups is about honesty of feelings. If Littlefinger tries to show any compassion or sympathy, it’s going to be false. Knight of Cups Reversed says he’s keeping something to himself. #shockingnotshocking The Moon: Deception and trickery. This is probably the main Littlefinger card.

Gee. Aren’t you so glad you wasted ten minutes of your workday on me stating the obvious?

Moving forward….

Sansa: 

sansa

I hope the cards say she’s done looking up like a drooling doe all the time.

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A few faces of Sansa this week….

When we last saw Sansa, she was all, ” ‘mon bro!!! Let’s go roast some Bolton!” King of Swords says she’s going to start the episode swinging like a boss. 9 of Swords says there’s going to be some tears involved. Queen of Wands Reversed suggests she might end up tempering some of that fire we all wet ourselves when we saw last episode. Oh Seven Hells….she’s not going to cow to Littlefinger again, is she??? Please say no. We’re so done with that dynamic. Then again…..I’ve often seen women or women characters receive a King when they need to do something that may not feel in their character (likewise, when men receive Queens, it also tells them the same–do something that you think isn’t natural to you). In the early seasons of Game of Thrones, she definitely embodied the nasty side of the Queen of Wands, which can manifest like Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka, wanting the Oompa Loompas and Golden Geese:

MOMMY! I WANT THE SADISTIC PRINCE, MOMMY! I WANT HIM NOW!!!

MOMMY! I WANT THE SADISTIC PRINCE, MOMMY! I WANT HIM NOW!!!

Fingers crossed that Sansa is growing the steel spine found in the greatest of King of Swords scenarios, and letting go of any of the Veruca-ish tendencies sometimes found in Queen of Wands. As for the 9 of Swords? Well, the poor woman is seriously traumatized. There’s going to be a lot of tears until she finds her way into therapy.

Arya

arya

When a picture truly captures a character.

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This looks better than Sansa’s reading.

9 of Cups generally means fulfillment. Will Arya finally find some peace and contentment in where she is? Or do all of those cups have something to do with the big vat of watery life/death in the House of Black and White? I’m putting my $1 bet on both. Justice is interesting. Since the beginning of Season 1, Arya has been on a quest for things to be fair. Until she went blind, she was all about avenging her enemies. Maybe Justice means she gets the chance to do that? Ace of Pentacles Reversed. This often means an opportunity not taken or misspent. Maybe she gets a chance to kill an old enemy and doesn’t take it? I don’t see her stepping out of line again. But something big is going to happen to Arya’s character this week, but we probably won’t see the resolution to it in this episode.

Yara 

We all have one character we secretly wish we were. Yara is mine.

We all have one character we secretly wish we were. Yara is mine. I gotta unlock my inner Yara.

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Again. Didn’t really need the cards.

Yara wants to be Queen. Or King. Whatever. She wants to rule the Iron Islands, and not because she’s power-hungry. She knows she’s better qualified than any of the salty dude-bros she has to run around with. This reading, however, suggests that the bad-ass stand she appears to make in the preview isn’t going to go the way she wants–right away. 7 of Cups Reversed suggests a lack of support. Queen of Pentacles Reversed suggests not only a woman who is not in the position of power she’d like to be, but also not attaining a huge goal. Lastly, the 5 of Wands suggests a fight. Duh. These people are always fighting. I think this reading says that Yara’s battle is going to last more than one episode. Don’t expect to see Yara straddling the salty throne on Sunday night.

Tyrion and Varys 

 

America's Hottest Couple.

America’s Hottest Couple.

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More thinking. More quipping. Not as much drinking, apparently.

10 of Swords Reversed: They’re not as screwed as they might have been at the end of the last episode. Tyrion was making some deals with some seriously smarmy Devils. We wondered if he was going to get the crap knocked out of him in this episode. Apparently, not. Or at least, not apparently. The Hermit Reversed is the “We are not alone” card. Maybe that creepy new Red Priestess is going to sneak in and really wedge herself, making this into the strange triad relationship we’ve seen since Sookie’s True Blood wet dream. Also, I’m 99.99% sure that’s the same actress as the one who played Robert Baratheon’s baby-bastard-mama in Season 1. Does HBO just like her enough to sneak her back in? Or did her baby’s murder turn the character into a religious fanatic? We’ll find out. 5 of Pentacles says the two are going to be left with quite a bit to think about. Not too dramatic, but scintillating all the same.

Bran 

Bran

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Too much for one caption.

This reading says to me that Bran is going to be the star of this next episode. 3 of Swords Reversed  probably indicates how uninterested he’s been in the physical world in the last few episodes. And we can’t really blame him. It’s cold. He can’t walk, and his family is dead. Fuck that. Be a raven and spy on your dad in times gone by. But The World and Ace of Swords reversed suggests he’s going to get involved in a massive cliffhanger (again).

Any further messages? 

One more card:

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Pages are often messengers. As a messenger, the Page of Pentacles means we’re probably going to get some information about a plot or the characters that we either suspected all along or we “should have seen coming.” It won’t be tremendously shocking…but we might feel a little silly for not having seen it before.

I guess this post doesn’t really have conclusive answers, but isn’t that also the nature of GoT? Keep us guessing until one day the White Walkers take over the world or else Daenerys lights them all on fire? 

Have a great weekend, all! Enjoy the show Sunday night!

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