The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming book: “Sacred Tears: A Witch’s Guide To Grief.”
The Wheel of Fortune card is one that often confuses my Tarot students. In many decks, it’s a card of complicated mythology. The Wheel often represents the choice to move on when it might be easier to stay hidden from the world. Isolation has a role in grief, gifting ourselves the space to process our loss, freedom from explaining things, released from others’ reactions to our loss. But there will come a time, whether by choice or circumstance, when we step out of our isolation. We go back to work, walk the dog, help a family member, or celebrate a friend’s birthday.
But just like the turning of a wheel stuck in the mud, moving through grief takes effort.
If we compare The Wheel to the Spiral (See previous post: Forget the Stages: Grief is a Spiral) we can view the journey of grief in a few ways:
- We can accept that grief has ups and downs. Sometimes we’ll be high and strong, and sometimes feel we are being crushed.
- We may sometimes see a purpose to the loss, only to experience confusion and bewilderment over it again at another time.
- There will be moments when we must sit with both the fury and distress of our loss’s potential lack of purpose. We may feel pressured by ourselves or others to develop a story or perspective on our loss, which can be intense work.
We don’t need to fight the ever-changing experiences of grief.
We can flow with them.
One day of calm and clarity does not have to be labeled progress. A following day of tears and rage is not regression. Grief is not linear.
Recognizing the cyclical shape of reminds us that even though we will experience peace on our grief journeys, we may experience pain again further down the road.
But also, even when we experience pain, we will once again experience peace at another point.
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