Another sneak-peak from my Sacred Tears: A Witch’s Guide To Grief.

I promise: this post doesn’t include ANY clichés

e.g., ‘that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’…’loss makes us appreciate what we have’….’grief is a sign of having loved’…. NONE OF THAT.

Many of those corny sentiments aren’t true, anyway.

Sure, something didn’t kill us, but it certainly may have weakened us.

Even if it did strengthen us, is strength truly better than loss?

What if we are perfectly capable of appreciating and loving things in our lives without losing them?

Still, the journey of grief, and the journey as a grieving Witch in particular, provides surprising gifts.

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The months after my last relationship ended were scarlet with rage.

I didn’t know I was even capable of being that angry. The depth of the rage scared me. It also humbled me. Many things about the relationship were wrong, and many close to me knew that. The kind, compassionate friends, many of whom I’d shut out of my life because they didn’t approve of the relationship, welcomed me back with compassion and sympathy.

Their love broke down intense, egotistical walls I’d built around myself and made me face truths I hadn’t wanted to see. My ex and I weren’t special. I wasn’t special. I was simply another woman who had found herself in an ill-fated romantic situation that hurt a lot of people—me included. 

I met my husband a few months later. It would be easy to say that the gift of losing my last relationship was that it made space for the right one, but the story is not so simple. I often tell my husband that I’m glad I met him when I did. If I had met him before my heart was broken, our relationship might not have worked.

This gift of grief came from the opportunity to look at myself and make conscious changes, laying the ground for the right love to succeed. Simply saying “everything happens for a reason,” meaning that I was meant to lose one love to find another, discards the hard work I did on myself. It also cheapens the gifts I found in my grief.

Loss doesn’t offer consolations prizes. But grief can offer gifts…if we know where to look.

Journaling prompt: what grows in the new space?

To read prompt, join The Cauldron Calling at any paid tier.